Interlude: My stuff

For many years, I have resisted burning entreaties to divulge the contents of my purse. A woman’s secret chamber, I reasoned. Her inviolate sanctum, never willingly to be revealed to a single soul.

But finally today, I yield. Shlemazl wants to know what I’m packing, and I’ve engaged to answer this pressing question.

Your woman-about-town changes purses fairly frequently, reflecting costume changes, seasonal shifts in fashion, and alignment of stars. But, when carried by yours truly, they will likely contain some variation of the following.



Reading more or less from left to right, then, we have:

• Cosmetic bag: The JAP first-aid kit.
• Wallet: The hub of my financial activity. Currently stores mostly receipts.
• Shout wipes: In no way indicative of my propensity to spill stuff on myself.
• Band-aids: Because you never know when you can acquire a festering wound.
• Nail file: Essential grooming tool.
• Individually wrapped Lactaid tablets: Because I don’t tolerate lactose. I just won’t stand for it. (With credit to Seinfeld.)
• Chewing gum: For tangy citrus breath.
• Pocket PC: I would happily implant it in my body were it surgically feasible.
• Hand cream: A girl can never be too moisturized. Besides, there’s so much harsh hand soap out there.
• Phone: Ah. This one merits a longer explanation. Having obtained a 3-year commitment from me under the false pretense that it would support OBEX object push, enabling me to complete the circle between phone, Pocket PC (see above) and laptop, thus uniting my happy family of Bluetooth devices, it turns out that Telus has crippled the Bluetooth functionality on its phones so that essentially the only thing it’s good for is communication with a Bluetooth headset. In fact, I’m not sure why I most hate this phone: the crippled Bluetooth, or its propensity to die after about 15 minutes of talk time.
• Keys: Car, house, safety deposit box, and a perpetually unlocked desk drawer at work.
• Pen: An old-fashioned implement, but I’m a traditional sort of gal.

Your turn.

1. Suzanne
2. Doug
3. Steve
4. hunter
5. Paul
6. Jeff, the token liberal (don't sign the petition, whatever you do)
7. Winston
   
8. TrustOnlyMulder
9. Allan